Category: Begintegration Blog


Learning about Light

I’m learning so much!

I’ve been living in the Bay Area for about six weeks now. I’m pursuing a graduate degree in Integral Ecology. And I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing, though I do miss my loved ones back home.

So – what is this integral ecology?

Here’s a description from the school.

Here’s my attempt at a simple explanation: when you look at the science, when you feel in your gut somehow you know – there are major environmental changes ahead of us. In order to understand the ecological situation and how to respond, we need to integrate other threads that matter to us – political and social justice, history and cosmology, philosophy and spirituality, psychology and media, activism and community building, love and art, all into a way to move together as an Earth Community.

We at CIIS are collecting all the elements that led our planet to this place and time, swimming all the global wisdom currently arising, and weaving these remarkable perspectives into a creative, and helpful, and hopefully peaceful way through the coming transformations.

Alright – like how?

We draw from indigenous sacred knowledge and quantum physics. From deep ecology and ecopsychology, from permaculture and the universe story. Archetypal astrology even. We go WAY back through time and WAY deep through consciousness. We move towards one the ground activism and environmental justice, promote diversity and responsibility, celebrate the Universe every day and renew our compassion and solidarity with all expressions of Earth.


Right. What kind of job are going to get after school?

With a degree in Integral Ecology, I can help communities and individuals establish new relationships with the Earth. This could include building local systems which allow groups to perpetuate for future generations their sources of food and water and sustain their social and spiritual well-being, right in conjunction with the health of their bioregion.

I can help us deal with the emotional responses (remorse, fury, despair) that erupt when we realize what we’ve done to each other and Earth. I can help facilitate healing across disparate groups. At least I can try my best every day.

But these are just issues we’re likely to recognize as Americans. Over the next decades there will also be hundreds of millions of climate refugees around the world with flooded or desertified homes. A degree in Integral Ecology should be able to inform relationships between all of us. Integral Ecology is a burgeoning field, and yes, a growth industry, though I’m not in it for the money.

So, ok, lemme share just a couple awesome things I’ve learned this month…

1. If you hold your pinky at arms length in front of the night sky, behind your pinky (by conservative estimates) are a million galaxies, each with hundreds of billions of stars like ours.

2. The universe is constantly moving, it moves towards creativity and complexity and diversity, and it is fueled by love.

3. The center of the universe is any point you measure it from. So, you.

4. Everything emits light constantly. Everything is permeated through and through with it. Light can travel across space and pop into existence. It exists outside of time. I don’t know what this means. We barely know anything about these vast expanses. But what we do know totally blows your mind.

5. Questions that seem to be arising from the Integral Ecology field and which interest me in particular include, but are not limited to –

  1. How do we move from a competitive to a collaborative culture?
  2. How do we embody new and ancient stories at the same time?
  3. How do we teach non violence and responsibility?
  4. How does the soul of the Earth communicate with her self-reflexive children?

6. Redwood’s roots are interconnected, as are their canopies.

And, if you’re looking for something that’ll really blow up your perspective, here ya go, care of my professor Sean Kelly.

Eschatons – Eras That Are Ending Now (Times Are Approximate)

  • 65 Million Years – The Cenezoic Era: We are currently in the middle of a mass extinction of animal and plant species. The last time a dying off of this magnitude occurred was when a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs. That 65 million years has marked the most beautifully biodiverse period in the planet’s history, and it is ending right now. We are the cause.
  • 200,000 Years – The Era of Homosapiens: There’s an argument to be made that through a combination of changes – biologically through our exposure to toxins, biomechanically through the internet implants we’re all about to want, on a level of consciousness with exponentially rising global awareness, and just because the label homosapien or “wise man” can’t really be what we call ourselves anymore – we are mutating into a new human.
  • 12,000 Years – The Holocene: The period of stable climate since the last ice age. Ending. This balance is what allows for agriculture. A rise of 2 degrees interferes with pollination. At 104 F photosynthesis ceases.
  • 5,000 Years – The Historical Period: If you define history as narratives of warring men, which is what most of our early history consists of, then this is (thankfully) no longer the only script with which we work.
  • 5,000 Years – The Mayan Great Count: On the morning of the Winter Solstice two years hence, the Sun (our first Father) will trace a direct elliptical path through the exact center of our galaxy, the Great Rift in the Milky Way (our first Mother.) There may also be aircraft carriers smashing into the White House. But I’m hoping that the unprecedented global recognition of 2012 as a date of change allows for the greater possibility of manifesting that change together.
  • 2,000 Years – The Piscean/Christian Aeon: The astrological Age of Pisces coinciding with the arising of the great religions and religious wars, though it’s associated most closely with Christianity and it’s water and fish symbology. Somewhere in this current couple hundred years we’re moving into the Age of Aquarius. This could signify a move away from monotheistic spirituality and towards lives experienced through freedom, equality, and awakening.
  • 500 Years – The Modern/Western/Capitalist Era: This is the world we know. The one we think is so real, so solid. It’s been defined by progress! individual autonomy! commodification of everything, mechanical reductionism, genocidal expansion, blind ambition, limitless growth, you know what I’m saying. At the moment these guys are entrenched and they ain’t going down without a fight. But (and I believe this more and more) as we bare witness to each other in all our unique human incarnations and voices, as we finally recognize our interdependence with life on the planet, and as we begin to know ourselves as something unbelievably greater – a knowledge it’s taken us exactly 13.7 billion years to discover – even those forms that seem most fundamental and foundational will begin to peel back.
  • 100 Years – Cheap Oil: Oil is dead. Long live migratory birds.

There’s no time frame or blueprint for how these eras will shift. But it’s all going on in our and our children’s generation. Some books I could recommend starting with: The Great Work by Thomas Berry, Cosmic Conversations by Stephan Martin, Coming Back to Life by Joanna Macy, and The Universe is a Green Dragon by Brian Swimme.


Anyway, it’s a lot to grapple with. I intended to debut this blog during the Autumnal Equinox/Harvest Moon, cuz I’ve been on a quarter year writing thing, but here we are at the new moon already. I’m finding so much that’s fueling my passions here, so many conversations, real blossoming communities – it’s hard to alchemize these elements into blog posts. But – these are stories I’ll devote my whole life to expressing. So, no worries about my little new begintegration blog.

Thank you for journeying with me. I’m grateful for any and all questions or comments, and I want to stay in touch, thank you. I’m making new friends in SF and Berkeley, but the movement includes all of us.

We all have this beautiful innate creativity that loves bursting forth when given the chance. It is, not coincidentally, very much like the supernova that created the earth and me and you. It will transform.

Begininintegration

Late summer weather in the Bay Area is chosen by the Pacific. How much of the region would we like to engulf in clouds today? I’ve found many beautiful places to wander already. I’m drawn to them. I will spend time in nature every day if I can. This morning I walked out onto the pier at the Berkeley Marina and strode directly into a new weather system.


The dense grey cloud engulfed the city, the golden gate, the highlands, but breezed past the east bay, just out of reach. As I moved into the cloud, the air becoming dark, the wind flapping my hoodie, the people more scary and scarce, it reminded me of our frightening future.



First week of school, a non-descript building downtown. Integral Ecology. We start with the state of the world and the story of the universe. The state of the world is depletion – watertables, topsoils, mass extinctions. The edge of the pier. The story of the universe, however, is glorious – vast and moving and creative and fueled by love. The song that comes to my head as I walk back towards shore.

This is our reckoning, holding both realities, every day, every night. Holding and giving away – it’s in the sharing that we grow communities. We’ll teach each other. I am at school with scholars and shamans, soothsayers and solastalgists.


I am going for new views.
 

I continue to trust my timing.

I seem ripe. I have found a converted garage in a 100 yr old farmhouse in Berkeley. Exposed pipe, industrial sink, weird skylights, loft. Perfect. Bridget’s hopping. I put up my sacred objects and it feels like home.

I feel welcome here. I’m arriving as myself. And hoping to find my tribe.

 

As we move into the fall, which is supposed be the prettiest time of year here, I’ll let you know any plans to save the earth. But for now, I’m just balancing everything.



 


We have brought forth a centuries-long shift in the planet’s life-sustaining systems. This changes our goals a bit. What choices are now opening to us? I’ve had the great gift of time to explore paths which resonated on a soul-level, and powerful experiences working my heart and hands the last ten years. I’m looking to add more minds to the mix. A primary artery of all my work has been orienting people to our Earth. Every day humans come into new, sacred relationships with the natural world. I would like to facilitate more of these engagements. An immediate goal for the summer is to begin editing my footage from sacred sites around the globe. But art is only one delivery system for a larger purpose – preserving and creating sacred space and relationship.

As we build new communities, I want to establish medicine wheels, gardens, parks and protected wild alongside the other essential sustainable systems. The river system where I was born is tattooed on my back – I hope to help neighborhoods engage with their genius loci. I continually find myself in conversations that sound like despair work. I accept these heartbreaks as part of my responsibility. I know firsthand how trauma can hold in the body, and am very interested in the somatic arts, not to mention rhythm and dance. I’m also compelled by the potentials of shamanism in the 21st century. And I imagine that while helping our transformations at home is necessary, I’ll also want a voice in the larger global discussions – maybe as a solastalgist for climate refugees, or something involving biodiversity, or water. The only place that can integrate all of these yearnings is CIIS.

An earth community is being born in each of us. CIIS is providing our first midwives. The integral ecology track, and the redwoods, pull me to San Fransisco. I leave my burgeoning community at home to apprentice at the hub of the environmental and global justice movements. And I continue to trust the universe that has brought me to you at this time.

Views

I am compelled by views.
I am captured still, connecting yet again to my position in the ebb and flow of earth.
The curling mountains, the frothing streams, we share backs.
But we have shared badly our sustenance and space.
I am sorry for this, and I am in your service.

I humbly ask for a new home, a place to be of help.
A community in conversation I could join.
And love.

My roots, grown strong in their twisted explorations,
drunk from a deep but dwindling aqueduct,
held on here for life for so long,
finally release.

I follow the skies, moon over the birds, climb to high places,
but though I can bounce,
my wings, stuffed between my shoulders,
have waited till now to unfurl,
and I have forgotten my methods of flight.

A biodynamic, permacultural, and delicious learning experience!  Tracking a new garden from conception through four seasons. Features cucumbers, squash, tomatoes, peppers, lettuces, corn, herbs, natives, and pollinator-attracting flowers, companion planting, bamboo raised beds, a yoga circle and a medicinal herb spiral.

Winter of the Tens

Welcome to our first winter of the tens. The ‘10s will be the decade we begin a new relationship with the earth.

Last night the north of our planet passed across the winter solstice, emerging again into the time of more light, more life-giving sun. In a week our communities will celebrate a new year, a new decade. Let’s honor these big transitions by resting a moment in between, and actually looking around.

I’ve been sharing more and more conversations with people who are moving from one period of their lives to another – and pausing – hesitating in between, not sure what to do next. They’ve just graduated. They’ve lost their job. They’ve ended a major relationship. These would all be big changes under regular circumstances, take a while to work out. But it feels as though there’s more at stake this time.

I want to say – if you are taking your time figuring out what you want to do next in life – that’s okay. Take your time. Have mercy on yourself. What we do next depends on a lot of things. It depends on the economy. It depends on having a plan, on whose plan it is. It depends on who depends on you, who you depend on. It depends on what the future might bring. And if you’re like me, 2010-2019 feel like scary years from here.

Decades aren’t naturally occurring phenomena of course. They’re human constructs designed to accommodate a constricted perspective of time. We conceive of time in unique ways – as money, as moving in one direction, as lasting a lifetime – and a human life is short next to a tortoise or a sequoia. We are also a young species in the 4.5 billion year lifespan of the planet. Still, if you look back just one decade, to The Year 2000, would you say your life has changed much? Did the world look different back then?

Change is one of the only truths in life. Over the next ten years, certain things will change much faster than we expect. Certain things will barely change at all. The ‘00s were a decade of accelerating change. I expect this will continue.

So it’s easy to get overwhelmed. It’s stunning to see all the different kinds of lives available to humans and reckon your place among the 9 billion on the way. We are just just just beginning to become conscious of the changes that will occur in our lifetimes and in the lifetimes of our children and grandchildren, without of course having the slightest comprehension of how things will go. If our mind does take a quick glance at the coming crises, receives maybe a flash of apocalypse…it’s easy to turn away, stop thinking about that, go back about your life. Or become consumed with terror all the time, projecting ruin over the institutions of our days.

We’re all familiar with fear. It saturates our culture and quite often dominates whole elements of our lives. But the fears we relate to on a regular basis are of a different shade from the fear of dwindling access to potable water and reliable food, resource conflicts adding to decades already at war, hundreds of thousands of global climate refugees with uninhabitable homelands, runaway pandemics, mass extinctions of plant and animal species, collapsing structures, systems and ecosystems, and suffering on an unfathomable scale. Those are fears that drop the heart into a much lower part of the body. These things have also already begun, they’re just happening to the global south, to the poorer regions of the world, so we in the developed world ignore them and continue on our privileged lives. Sooner or later, there will come a responsibility for all of us who are alive at this time.

So today, as much as you’re able to, linger just one more moment in this knowledge.

This pain. This despair. This outrage.

This is by no means easy, quick, or fun. It is, however, necessary. The events of the next half-century will catalyze a fundamental shift in the way the world thinks, acts, and lives. The earlier we move towards our fears, get to know them, dance around in them a little, refuse to be numbed out by them – the softer and more pliable they might become. Try to live in light, but be fully present in the dark. It is often these difficult places that teach us the most. The sooner we learn to deal with the despairs that will inevitably come, the greater potential we have for reconnecting, independent of our grief and behind real strategy.

It’s easy, though, to fall into a disaster movie loop. Everything is falling to shit. And to be true, there’s an enormous systemic octopus between us and real change, with bunches of tentacles threatening life on the planet as we know it. It easily feels impossible. Of course, this being the universe, there are also an infinite number of ways things can go – one of the main reasons so many of us are pausing.

This uncertainty – a profound and crucial aspect of our times, is something we’ll need to learn to embrace lest we be paralyzed by it. The hours we spend circling around in insecurity will no doubt increase as well, with the growing bleakness of our situation. Change will come too slowly. There will be many many setbacks. Many horrors. But there will also be extraordinary experiences of joy and connection. If you’re gonna focus obsessively on best/worst case scenarios, there’s an argument to be made for best. And please excuse me for writing as though I know what’s gonna happen. I don’t know what’s going to happen this afternoon. I’m (a little uncomfortably) using a prophetic voice in order to direct energy towards these possibilities, rather than continue feeding my always-hungry doubts.

If we’re honest about the enormity of the crisis, it may take many generations before peace prevails and ecosystems rebound. There are lots of lifestyles in the world, plenty of them unsustainable, yet completely compelling to the people living them.

We have trained great masses of people and groups to act solely on their own interests. These people have the dominant system on their side and will cling forever to control and kill to keep in power.

There are a great many of us who remain committed to and controlled by the competitive drives of our Western culture, and it will be difficult for us to give up our attachments.

There are those of us who give our authority over to certain figures or traditions at the deprivation of other points of view, and we fully intend to martyr ourselves to these fundamental truths.

There are those of us who explore our own individual passions and gifts, and these drives may or may not lead us into the marketplace, may or may not lead us into a healthier relationship with the earth.

There will also be more and more of us who live in service above all to the earth, devoting our lives to sharing the planet. New sacred and fruitful relationships develop between the earth and her people every day.

There are also many, many souls engaged in the daily struggle for the basic needs of their families, without recourse to affect greater change. We are all where we are on this. Our generation on this planet includes all of us.

And though we can’t know the length of our pregnancy, an Earth Community is being born in each of us. We are finally recognizing ourselves as part of a web of life, a species, on a planet, floating in a universe, a universe who’s continuous creative capacity we humans are able to embody in our lives. You feel it too I bet. There are so many of us today, suddenly conscious of one another, discovering a miraculous solidarity with all these other lives around the world with whom we never could have participated a generation earlier, and joining together to form new movements of transformation. This is happening at a rate none of us could have predicted or controlled, and on a scale that has the potential to radically change human patterns on the earth. We are laying the foundation for something we may not live to see. And it feels like the call of many generations. A movement of movements.

Still, we are currently stuck between something that is ending but hasn’t ended (and won’t without great suffering), and something that has begun but which we can’t yet identify. We are the instant before a hurricane forms, when sky and sea unite, unsure of our composition or position.

I’m 5 years out of college, and I don’t know what I want to do with my life yet. I do work I consider honorable, helpful to my community, and in line with the spirit of the earth. But I don’t make much money at it. I live in our late capitalist society of course, and I expect my children will come up before we’ve established gift giving as our primary method of exchange, so I don’t know how I’m going to pay for all their stuff. But when I consider providing for them – I’m not thinking about the half-million that’ll be necessary for them to attend college in 2035. I’m envisioning a partner and community committed to growing soul-centric and eco-centric individuals, living and raising our children close to the land and in mutually beneficial relationships with our environment, and providing and protecting reliable and sustainable community food, water, and air sources. I expect this will be doable on a local scale, and as part of a global network. We’ll see. It will be a balance.

A lot of our experiences will involve balance. Balancing equanimity in our awareness of each moment with intention towards a future we can only imagine. Balancing the desire to create big change with the necessity of making little changes every day. Balancing the potential benefits of our expanding technology with full attention to all the possible repercussions. Balancing our desire to communicate across borders with the need to move beyond the familiarity bred by our screens, and into genuine shared experience with our cohabitants and natural spaces. Balancing growing the standards of living in developing countries with the recognition that our current population already requires the resources of 1.3 Earths. Balancing the shame of our own culpability with a commitment to new possibilities of justice. Balancing the call to fight with a hold on nonviolence.

We all gotta grow up some time. We are clawing our way out of adolescence and moving into planetary adulthood. It happens on a global and on an individual scale both. At certain points in our lives – it started for me when my father died, and is what I created outsidejosh to explore – there are opportunities to move outside the realms of our own personal stories and concerns, compelling as they may be, and the question becomes “How can I help?”

And you can help all over, at home and around the world. There will be no shortage of people and places who need help. Though “help” is a complicated thing, and you must be on the same page with those you are “helping.” But there will be help needed with things like local organic food systems in your own neighborhood, deforestation in Papua New Guinea, flooding in Bangladesh, wind energy in Appalachia, education for women in Zimbabwe – if you have a passion for some application of justice and compassion (whether you were raised to value this orientation or came to it later), you’re likely to find other people in the world who are committed to similar work. If no one else is doing what you’re into, the mechanisms and resources required to get projects off the ground are becoming more and more available. I’m starting to suspect the universe likes diversity in culture and biodiversity, so I might work to promote those things.

Whenever and wherever you come to it, take your time orienting. It’s hard to get your bearings initially, takes real effort to quiet, but after just a little time, you can feel which direction your inner compass is pointing. This orientation will be necessary when the time comes to speak, but there must also be time to listen. And there are indeed countless new (and old!) voices emerging worth listening to. I hope we learn as much as we can from indigenous earth wisdom traditions, bearing in mind our exploitative and genocidal history with these cultures. And as I said towards the end of WWOOF ‘n Wander, if you want to learn how to help the earth, there’s no better teacher than earth herself. It’s true, the earth has been the voice with whom I most often seek conversation. The times I spend in nature – the wilder the better – have yielded some of the most crucial understandings of my life. Meditation. Bodywork. There are many ways to know your soul and the universe. You begin to trust. This helps you make choices.

And all you have to choose is what you do today. If you only connect for a moment with the earth today, that moment of love makes a difference. We’re not gonna save the earth this week, and we may even have to give up savior complexes sooner or later. But each enfolding moment is an opportunity to learn something, love someone. And we are sharing together in astonishing numbers. It may take a while to learn your own particular note in the symphony of the 21st century, but there’s glorious music to create.

India

WWOOF ‘n Wander Travel Photos:

Hawaii

The Philippines

Thailand

India

WWOOF ‘n Wander Travel Photos:

Hawaii

The Philippines

India

Thailand

(Half these photos are not by Joshua Halpern, but were obtained by permission from Sandot Sukkaew for the documentary Paimaculture)

WWOOF ‘n Wander Travel Photos:

Hawaii

Thailand

India

The Philippines

WWOOF ‘n Wander Travel Photos:

The Philippines

Thailand

India

Hawaii